Here We Go Again

I took quite a break from blogging. I'm back. Life sure has a way of bringing us back to where it thinks we should be. Nevermind what we want for ourselves. I sure have learned that the hard way over the last few years.

I've learned and grown, I've loved, lost, and gained so much in the last few years.

I'm not going to try tyo use this like a diary, but since I've been gone so long, I figure updating on who I am and what not is in order.

Still a milso, added a kid, and now we are back at our very first duty station, a half a world away from family. I have lost all of my grandparents, and several friends since I started this blog and took a break.

It's hard to believe that the support system I've had my whole life has changed as drastically as it has in the last three years, but here we are. I know I'm lucky in a way because I knew my grandparents far better than most people my age. My parents had me VERY young. My grandparents had them VERY young as well. I got to have a relationship with those men and women that not so many people get. Losing my grandmother was ungodly hard. She taught me to cook from 4500 miles away, over the phone. I talked to her every day. And now she is just gone. In a year and a half, my other grandmother went from the most bad ass, I don't need shit from nobody, hell on heels woman, to having to go to dialysis and chemo. Breast cancer is a bitch. Especially triple negative. It will take someone from you in just 6 months.

The worst is that I never really got to say goodbye to any of them. I wasn't there. I didn't even get to go to all the funerals. That hurt.

Now we're 4500 miles away again. My baby brother isn't a baby anymore. My sister has been widowed. My other brother, well, God has his eye on him. Family changes, grows, and fluxes. But somehow, you always end up back exactly where life wants you to be. You can plan all you want to. Life is going to laugh in your face and pull out all the stops.

So, I'm back. I'm going to try to keep this and a business blog going. Let's see how that goes. I'm going to have some Aloha spirit, try to get healthy, stay active, and kick life's ass for a while.

Hold on to your asses.

Oh How the World Turns

Boy oh boy does life keep going. Even when you just need a five minute break, life says, "No, we must keep moving!" There's so much going on in our lives right now/just got done going on. Some days it feels like treading water to keep your head above the water.

My husband has been in training for the last two years. ONE test determines if he gets to do the job. He did not pass that test. (It's a VERY hard test, and not that many people actually pass it.) So, he's been waiting for three months to find out what job he'll be doing. Finally, he's been assigned a job and will leave in a few weeks to go do some training for it. After a few months, we'll move house to God only knows where.

On top of all that? We're expecting our second child. I have no idea where I'll be delivering as I'm due several months after we will move. It's very strange to think of that. I'm on an anti-nausea for the morning sickness, laxatives because constipation is a side effect of pregnancy AND the anti-nausea meds, prenatals, and my anti-depressant. I feel like an 80 year old lady with the number of pills I need to take some days. I'm very excited for this pregnancy, but I certainly hope it's our last. We'd like one of each gender, and we've already got a girl. We'll see how it goes.

Our daughter is growing and getting smarter every day. I'm really worried about her with the upcoming move as I don't know how she will react. She was only a year when we moved the first time, so it didn't throw her off too much. She's a Cinderella (all things Disney) - loving, must be fully dressed every day, diva. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am truly in awe of this kid! It's amazing to me to watch her grow and learn and develop a personality. She is funny, loving, caring, and inquisitive. She is my little miracle.

As far as my mild depression/anxiety, I've been on the anti depressant for a month now. I am truly seeing a difference in myself with it. I'm not as stressed, little things don't get to me as quickly, and I don't even have the same amount of road rage as before. I'm calmer in general, and I feel better. I'm so blessed to have friends that pushed me to do something about it instead of letting me be afraid/paranoid to do so.

That's all the updates I have for now. 

God Bless

Breaking Down the Walls

Today, I want to talk about something that's still very taboo in our society. Mental health. I'm the first to admit, I will tell you to seek help all day long. But - guess who had to be pushed into taking her own advice? Yeah, that's right. Me.

I have a family history of a few disorders. I knew something was off with me. I didn't want to go in. I can handle it. I'm fine. I always have been, and I can continue to do so. That was my attitude. So when a friend and mental health advocate pushed me - I finally sought help. Today was my first appointment. I'm going to share my diagnosis, and I'll try to keep up with my progress, with everything that it entails.

It's scary. I almost canceled the appointment a few times. Especially after I found out about my current pregnancy. But wait, that's an even better reason to go. So...go I did. My diagnosis is this: mild depression and anxiety. However, I have several of the 'lower' indicators of bipolar disorder. I don't have any of the 'big' indicators though. This means I'm not bipolar, but I do have a high chance of 'becoming' bipolar.

I'm glad to know exactly what I'm working with now. Now we can treat it, and I can become a better me. I'm not sharing this for sympathy, attention, what have you. I'm sharing this, because maybe someone reading it, will hear me and seek help that they need. Don't be afraid to seek that help. 

My Affair with Sleep

If you're a parent of a young child (under about 10), you know that sleep is a rare and elusive thing. We all cope one way or another: coffee, sleep aids, energy drinks, power naps, whatever works, right? I think once you have a kid, you'll never ever sleep like before. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are those nights your kid actually ASKS to go to bed, or goes to bed with no fight at all. And then they actually, you know, sleep! 

My little one is just past 3 now, and she still has her nights that she wakes up 3-4 times a night, but overall, sleep and I have resumed our affair. Some times, she even lets me sleep in. Oh yes. Sleep - in. Past 8 am. *enter chorus of angels*

I'm no expert. I only have one kid, and she's only three. But here's my 'mommy advice': It DOES get better. At some point, THEY start realizing how awesome sleep is and they want to do it ALL the time. (Maybe around the teens, right? That's when I remember it hitting.) 

Now...if you have more than one under 10 - well...you're probably not going to get the full wedded bliss for a bit longer, but one day, it will be there.

Now...where'd I put that cup of coffee??

The Not-So-Together Housewife

I'm not the best housewife ever. My house is NOT always immaculate, the kid isn't always dressed to the nines, and dinner isn't always ready when my husband walks in the door. But, I do my best. Yes, I have clutter around, and yes, if you go upstairs, you'll find my dirty little secret (I rarely clean it).

But this week, I've been good. I've kept the house (downstairs) pretty darn clean, even cleaned our bathroom upstairs, and kept dishes done. I've done the floors more than once this week, and keeping things done throughout the week, keeps it clean easier. Yep. You've heard it on blogs galore, pinterest pins about keeping your house clean in 15 minutes, etc. It does work. If you a "little" cleaning every day, it's really not that bad. Not that I scrub baseboards or anything. I still have laundry that needs folding...but hey...overall, it's clean and I feel great. 

Just a short note/blog. I am about to go do 'busy housewife stuff' and get tea made for a spouse get together, and then host a Lia Sophia party. Woo!

An Obsession Begins

 I'd like to introduce everyone to my new (and first) Filofax. This is the Finsbury in Black. As much as I REALLY love blue, having seen all the colors in person, I'm actually REALLY glad I got it in black. I'm not really a fan of the way the 'graining' on the leather makes the other colors look. So, basically, I love blue to no end, but the black makes me happier in the end. Plus, most of my clothing tends to be black, so I guess I'll always match? I love this planner so much, I have barely been able to take my hands off of it. Mom ordered it for me on Friday and it arrived on Monday. SO MUCH FASTER than I anticipate. I literally screamed with joy when I pulled it out of the mail box.

I had decided to take a friend to the local store that carries Filofax to 'kill time and get a fix'. While there, we browsed, checked out their stationary, got a few ideas for dividers, etc. The first time I was in this store, I was (not directly or politely) asked to stop 'handling them so much as it might damage them'. I don't see how my handling them was any worse than the way they were stacked on the shelf, but I digress. I decided to give the shop a second shot to see the Finsbury while I waited. Once I got home, there she was. I've noticed some folks name their Filos...I may have to give this gal a name!

I think the only issue I have with it right now is that it doesn't lay flat. Not that it's a HUGE issue, because I'm sure with time and usage, that will cease to be such an issue as it is.

I love that even though I really do have quite a good bit in there, it's not OVERLY stuffed.  It's a really beautiful size, and though I'd like an A5 at some point, I LOVE the personal size.

I'm truly impressed with this little binder. Being as it wasn't my first choice (Orchid Aston would be), I'm VERY glad we chose this one. I love the design of the card pockets on the inside. I love the zipper pocket in the back. The pen loop is SO MUCH better than in the one I was using. I actually flung my pen out of the pink one a few times because the loop was so loose. Not because I used it that much either, it came that way. The leather is really nice and soft. I am in HEAVEN.

The Planner Underground

 My mother is a very fun lady. Ever since I was a kid, I've found her to be...well...quirky. It's easy to see where I get it from. I adore my mother. Lately, she has lead me down a path of darkness. And by darkness, I mean...well, you'll see.

See, Mom is a date-booking freak. We called it her date book growing up, because all her 'dates' were in it. And I mean everything. Ball game this week? It was in Mom's planner. School play? In Mom's planner. And she wouldn't let you forget things either.

Now I'm a mom, and I have a direct sales business, and I'm a military spouse. There's a lot to keep up with under those three small titles there! I thought I'd attempt the 'planner' thing again. I bought a cute little planner from Target, and thought it'd be cake. Nope. Two-three weeks later, I was forgetting it at home, not using it, not even looking at it. So what did I do? I called SuperMom for help. Why isn't it working? What do I do to MAKE myself use this? And a care package arrived.

To make a good point of the difference that was made...Here are a few pictures...

Before: 

Skinny, unattractive little thing.

The tabs and pages that came with the planner.

And After:

This is after I got my care package and got everything in it.

This is how I've got my direct sales business cards set up, right in the front behind the hard plastic flyleaf.

I have one more card holder behind it for credit/debit cards.

I have a little obsession with Tinkerbell, so Mom sent plenty of Tink stickers.

This is the zip pouch that came in the care package.

More Tink on my bookmark. The lettering on the page matches the planner quite well.

And this is the hard plastic flyleaf that came with the planner.

This is a week or so into using it. I already have 3 tabbies (I love these, and think they may be my favorite).

Now you have my evolution into the planner underground!!