Boy oh boy does life keep going. Even when you just need a five minute break, life says, "No, we must keep moving!" There's so much going on in our lives right now/just got done going on. Some days it feels like treading water to keep your head above the water.
My husband has been in training for the last two years. ONE test determines if he gets to do the job. He did not pass that test. (It's a VERY hard test, and not that many people actually pass it.) So, he's been waiting for three months to find out what job he'll be doing. Finally, he's been assigned a job and will leave in a few weeks to go do some training for it. After a few months, we'll move house to God only knows where.
On top of all that? We're expecting our second child. I have no idea where I'll be delivering as I'm due several months after we will move. It's very strange to think of that. I'm on an anti-nausea for the morning sickness, laxatives because constipation is a side effect of pregnancy AND the anti-nausea meds, prenatals, and my anti-depressant. I feel like an 80 year old lady with the number of pills I need to take some days. I'm very excited for this pregnancy, but I certainly hope it's our last. We'd like one of each gender, and we've already got a girl. We'll see how it goes.
Our daughter is growing and getting smarter every day. I'm really worried about her with the upcoming move as I don't know how she will react. She was only a year when we moved the first time, so it didn't throw her off too much. She's a Cinderella (all things Disney) - loving, must be fully dressed every day, diva. I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am truly in awe of this kid! It's amazing to me to watch her grow and learn and develop a personality. She is funny, loving, caring, and inquisitive. She is my little miracle.
As far as my mild depression/anxiety, I've been on the anti depressant for a month now. I am truly seeing a difference in myself with it. I'm not as stressed, little things don't get to me as quickly, and I don't even have the same amount of road rage as before. I'm calmer in general, and I feel better. I'm so blessed to have friends that pushed me to do something about it instead of letting me be afraid/paranoid to do so.
That's all the updates I have for now.
God Bless
Wednesday, May 8, 2013
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Breaking Down the Walls
Today, I want to talk about something that's still very taboo in our society. Mental health. I'm the first to admit, I will tell you to seek help all day long. But - guess who had to be pushed into taking her own advice? Yeah, that's right. Me.
I have a family history of a few disorders. I knew something was off with me. I didn't want to go in. I can handle it. I'm fine. I always have been, and I can continue to do so. That was my attitude. So when a friend and mental health advocate pushed me - I finally sought help. Today was my first appointment. I'm going to share my diagnosis, and I'll try to keep up with my progress, with everything that it entails.
It's scary. I almost canceled the appointment a few times. Especially after I found out about my current pregnancy. But wait, that's an even better reason to go. So...go I did. My diagnosis is this: mild depression and anxiety. However, I have several of the 'lower' indicators of bipolar disorder. I don't have any of the 'big' indicators though. This means I'm not bipolar, but I do have a high chance of 'becoming' bipolar.
I'm glad to know exactly what I'm working with now. Now we can treat it, and I can become a better me. I'm not sharing this for sympathy, attention, what have you. I'm sharing this, because maybe someone reading it, will hear me and seek help that they need. Don't be afraid to seek that help.
I have a family history of a few disorders. I knew something was off with me. I didn't want to go in. I can handle it. I'm fine. I always have been, and I can continue to do so. That was my attitude. So when a friend and mental health advocate pushed me - I finally sought help. Today was my first appointment. I'm going to share my diagnosis, and I'll try to keep up with my progress, with everything that it entails.
It's scary. I almost canceled the appointment a few times. Especially after I found out about my current pregnancy. But wait, that's an even better reason to go. So...go I did. My diagnosis is this: mild depression and anxiety. However, I have several of the 'lower' indicators of bipolar disorder. I don't have any of the 'big' indicators though. This means I'm not bipolar, but I do have a high chance of 'becoming' bipolar.
I'm glad to know exactly what I'm working with now. Now we can treat it, and I can become a better me. I'm not sharing this for sympathy, attention, what have you. I'm sharing this, because maybe someone reading it, will hear me and seek help that they need. Don't be afraid to seek that help.
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
My Affair with Sleep
If you're a parent of a young child (under about 10), you know that sleep is a rare and elusive thing. We all cope one way or another: coffee, sleep aids, energy drinks, power naps, whatever works, right? I think once you have a kid, you'll never ever sleep like before. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There are those nights your kid actually ASKS to go to bed, or goes to bed with no fight at all. And then they actually, you know, sleep!
My little one is just past 3 now, and she still has her nights that she wakes up 3-4 times a night, but overall, sleep and I have resumed our affair. Some times, she even lets me sleep in. Oh yes. Sleep - in. Past 8 am. *enter chorus of angels*
I'm no expert. I only have one kid, and she's only three. But here's my 'mommy advice': It DOES get better. At some point, THEY start realizing how awesome sleep is and they want to do it ALL the time. (Maybe around the teens, right? That's when I remember it hitting.)
Now...if you have more than one under 10 - well...you're probably not going to get the full wedded bliss for a bit longer, but one day, it will be there.
Now...where'd I put that cup of coffee??
My little one is just past 3 now, and she still has her nights that she wakes up 3-4 times a night, but overall, sleep and I have resumed our affair. Some times, she even lets me sleep in. Oh yes. Sleep - in. Past 8 am. *enter chorus of angels*
I'm no expert. I only have one kid, and she's only three. But here's my 'mommy advice': It DOES get better. At some point, THEY start realizing how awesome sleep is and they want to do it ALL the time. (Maybe around the teens, right? That's when I remember it hitting.)
Now...if you have more than one under 10 - well...you're probably not going to get the full wedded bliss for a bit longer, but one day, it will be there.
Now...where'd I put that cup of coffee??
Friday, March 1, 2013
The Not-So-Together Housewife
I'm not the best housewife ever. My house is NOT always immaculate, the kid isn't always dressed to the nines, and dinner isn't always ready when my husband walks in the door. But, I do my best. Yes, I have clutter around, and yes, if you go upstairs, you'll find my dirty little secret (I rarely clean it).
But this week, I've been good. I've kept the house (downstairs) pretty darn clean, even cleaned our bathroom upstairs, and kept dishes done. I've done the floors more than once this week, and keeping things done throughout the week, keeps it clean easier. Yep. You've heard it on blogs galore, pinterest pins about keeping your house clean in 15 minutes, etc. It does work. If you a "little" cleaning every day, it's really not that bad. Not that I scrub baseboards or anything. I still have laundry that needs folding...but hey...overall, it's clean and I feel great.
Just a short note/blog. I am about to go do 'busy housewife stuff' and get tea made for a spouse get together, and then host a Lia Sophia party. Woo!
But this week, I've been good. I've kept the house (downstairs) pretty darn clean, even cleaned our bathroom upstairs, and kept dishes done. I've done the floors more than once this week, and keeping things done throughout the week, keeps it clean easier. Yep. You've heard it on blogs galore, pinterest pins about keeping your house clean in 15 minutes, etc. It does work. If you a "little" cleaning every day, it's really not that bad. Not that I scrub baseboards or anything. I still have laundry that needs folding...but hey...overall, it's clean and I feel great.
Just a short note/blog. I am about to go do 'busy housewife stuff' and get tea made for a spouse get together, and then host a Lia Sophia party. Woo!
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
An Obsession Begins
I had decided to take a friend to the local store that carries Filofax to 'kill time and get a fix'. While there, we browsed, checked out their stationary, got a few ideas for dividers, etc. The first time I was in this store, I was (not directly or politely) asked to stop 'handling them so much as it might damage them'. I don't see how my handling them was any worse than the way they were stacked on the shelf, but I digress. I decided to give the shop a second shot to see the Finsbury while I waited. Once I got home, there she was. I've noticed some folks name their Filos...I may have to give this gal a name!
I think the only issue I have with it right now is that it doesn't lay flat. Not that it's a HUGE issue, because I'm sure with time and usage, that will cease to be such an issue as it is.
I love that even though I really do have quite a good bit in there, it's not OVERLY stuffed. It's a really beautiful size, and though I'd like an A5 at some point, I LOVE the personal size.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
The Planner Underground
My mother is a very fun lady. Ever since I was a kid, I've found her to be...well...quirky. It's easy to see where I get it from. I adore my mother. Lately, she has lead me down a path of darkness. And by darkness, I mean...well, you'll see.
See, Mom is a date-booking freak. We called it her date book growing up, because all her 'dates' were in it. And I mean everything. Ball game this week? It was in Mom's planner. School play? In Mom's planner. And she wouldn't let you forget things either.
Now I'm a mom, and I have a direct sales business, and I'm a military spouse. There's a lot to keep up with under those three small titles there! I thought I'd attempt the 'planner' thing again. I bought a cute little planner from Target, and thought it'd be cake. Nope. Two-three weeks later, I was forgetting it at home, not using it, not even looking at it. So what did I do? I called SuperMom for help. Why isn't it working? What do I do to MAKE myself use this? And a care package arrived.
To make a good point of the difference that was made...Here are a few pictures...
Before:
The tabs and pages that came with the planner.
And this is the hard plastic flyleaf that came with the planner.
This is a week or so into using it. I already have 3 tabbies (I love these, and think they may be my favorite).
See, Mom is a date-booking freak. We called it her date book growing up, because all her 'dates' were in it. And I mean everything. Ball game this week? It was in Mom's planner. School play? In Mom's planner. And she wouldn't let you forget things either.
Now I'm a mom, and I have a direct sales business, and I'm a military spouse. There's a lot to keep up with under those three small titles there! I thought I'd attempt the 'planner' thing again. I bought a cute little planner from Target, and thought it'd be cake. Nope. Two-three weeks later, I was forgetting it at home, not using it, not even looking at it. So what did I do? I called SuperMom for help. Why isn't it working? What do I do to MAKE myself use this? And a care package arrived.
To make a good point of the difference that was made...Here are a few pictures...
Before:
Skinny, unattractive little thing.
The tabs and pages that came with the planner.
And After:
This is after I got my care package and got everything in it.
This is how I've got my direct sales business cards set up, right in the front behind the hard plastic flyleaf.
I have one more card holder behind it for credit/debit cards.
I have a little obsession with Tinkerbell, so Mom sent plenty of Tink stickers.
This is the zip pouch that came in the care package.
More Tink on my bookmark. The lettering on the page matches the planner quite well.
And this is the hard plastic flyleaf that came with the planner.
This is a week or so into using it. I already have 3 tabbies (I love these, and think they may be my favorite).
Now you have my evolution into the planner underground!!
Monday, January 21, 2013
Pesky Thoughts
Heh. Back sooner than I thought. I went and read a few blogs I follow to get caught up. I'm horrible at remembering things that don't come with a notification of some sort.
One of these blogs was by a dear friend of mine talking about another of her friends moving, and how she herself would be moving soon. Which brought me to tears. If you've read previous blogs, you know my husband is in the US military. I won't EVER say which branch or what he does, to protect who we are/his job. But, part of military life is moving. We're currently on the West Coast. We were previously in Hawaii. When I moved to Hawaii to be with my husband, it was the first time I'd left the South. It's been a little over four years now, and I miss home as always. In a bit over a month, I'll be going home for a few months, while hubby wraps up some training. Then we're on to the East Coast and we'll be the closest to home we've been since we got married. I'm excited about that. I can't wait to be home. I can't wait for our daughter to be around her family. However, being a military family is a double edged sword. I have friends from Hawaii that I may never see again because of life: divorces, changing of careers, etc. I have friends from here that again, I may never see again. There are many branches in this area, and I've made friends with other branches than my husband's. We'll end up spread all over the country, and even overseas in some cases.
The women I've met here - are amazing. I so look forward to leaving and being close to home, but I desperately do not want to leave this band of women I've found here. This life is nothing like what Army Wives makes it look like. No one stays in one place SIX years like they have on that show. It just doesn't work that way. I've missed the births of some of my best friends' babies. I've missed birthdays for kids I was there for their birth. In this life - we (yes we do) choose to leave our families behind, and follow a man (or woman) we love where ever the military may send us. It doesn't make it easy, doesn't make it fun. Packing up and moving every 2-3 years sucks. Missing five holiday seasons with family in a row sucks. But we get the beautiful blessing of surrounding ourselves with a new kind of family. One that chooses to love you and hold you close to their hearts. One that chooses to call themselves 'aunts and uncles' to your children. And then, a year or so later, you're ripped apart. Those friendships NEVER die, because no matter how long it's been since either of you picked up a phone and called each other, you talk on fb, stalk each other's pictures, keep up with those kids, send cards, send presents.
So, it's bittersweet. I'm happy to be going home. I'm happy to be going to a place I'll be near old friends from Hawaii again. But I dread leaving these people. These ladies (and George*) have made this place so much more bearable for me. I love you guys, and you mean more to me than you will ever ever ever know.
*Names changed to protect my people.
Goodnight and God Bless
One of these blogs was by a dear friend of mine talking about another of her friends moving, and how she herself would be moving soon. Which brought me to tears. If you've read previous blogs, you know my husband is in the US military. I won't EVER say which branch or what he does, to protect who we are/his job. But, part of military life is moving. We're currently on the West Coast. We were previously in Hawaii. When I moved to Hawaii to be with my husband, it was the first time I'd left the South. It's been a little over four years now, and I miss home as always. In a bit over a month, I'll be going home for a few months, while hubby wraps up some training. Then we're on to the East Coast and we'll be the closest to home we've been since we got married. I'm excited about that. I can't wait to be home. I can't wait for our daughter to be around her family. However, being a military family is a double edged sword. I have friends from Hawaii that I may never see again because of life: divorces, changing of careers, etc. I have friends from here that again, I may never see again. There are many branches in this area, and I've made friends with other branches than my husband's. We'll end up spread all over the country, and even overseas in some cases.
The women I've met here - are amazing. I so look forward to leaving and being close to home, but I desperately do not want to leave this band of women I've found here. This life is nothing like what Army Wives makes it look like. No one stays in one place SIX years like they have on that show. It just doesn't work that way. I've missed the births of some of my best friends' babies. I've missed birthdays for kids I was there for their birth. In this life - we (yes we do) choose to leave our families behind, and follow a man (or woman) we love where ever the military may send us. It doesn't make it easy, doesn't make it fun. Packing up and moving every 2-3 years sucks. Missing five holiday seasons with family in a row sucks. But we get the beautiful blessing of surrounding ourselves with a new kind of family. One that chooses to love you and hold you close to their hearts. One that chooses to call themselves 'aunts and uncles' to your children. And then, a year or so later, you're ripped apart. Those friendships NEVER die, because no matter how long it's been since either of you picked up a phone and called each other, you talk on fb, stalk each other's pictures, keep up with those kids, send cards, send presents.
So, it's bittersweet. I'm happy to be going home. I'm happy to be going to a place I'll be near old friends from Hawaii again. But I dread leaving these people. These ladies (and George*) have made this place so much more bearable for me. I love you guys, and you mean more to me than you will ever ever ever know.
*Names changed to protect my people.
Goodnight and God Bless
Unhealthy Attachments
There are tons of new movies coming out every day. Most of them have very redundant themes at this point in the game. RomComs, dramas, horror flicks; they're pretty predictable. On occasion one comes along that is fairly original. If I haven't seen this storyline before, forgive me.
I just watched Ted. Now, this isn't really going to be a review of the movie, don't go thinking that. Rather, I'm about to talk about one of my 'seven things you don't know about me'. Some of you do know this, others don't.
I have a teddy bear. At one time in my life, I probably would have given an ovary for him to come to life and be my real life best friend. When I was a baby (literally), my grandmother happened to get me a Snuggle bear. Yeah, the one from the laundry detergent. His copyright date is 1986. Same as me. I've never been to more than a sleep over without this bear. I have had him my WHOLE LIFE. Even if he's not in the same room with me, he's been in the same house as me. I can't explain it, and it's crazy for an almost 27 year old woman, married with a kid, to have such an attachment to her bear, right? But here I am, after watching this movie, and I needed to hold my bear, have him next to me, in my arms.
When I met my husband and got ready to move to Hawaii with him, I packed all my stuff to take with me to go. His dad was shipping my things two weeks ahead of me. I put Snuggle in the box, taped it up, and immediately had one of the very few panic attacks I've ever had. I freaked. What if the box got lost? The postal service (including FedEx/UPS) loses THOUSANDS of parcels every single day! What if it got damaged, and he was harmed? I've taken such care of him my whole life. He had no tears, no rips, never lost an eye or nose. I had to call my mother and get her to talk me down. How did she do that? She convinced me that since I could take a 'pillow' on the plane with me, I should simply get the bear out of the box. I argued that I couldn't do that because he was already packed and the box was taped shut. She pointed out the obvious. I could tape the box back. So, I got him out of the box, and sat on the couch with him until I calmed down.
I don't understand it, and probably never will. But of all my 'worldly' possessions, this is the one that I would be most upset to lose. It's right up there with my pictures of my great grandfather. If I actually had time to save things other than important documents in a fire - the bear and the pictures of my great grandfather would be the first things I grabbed.
So, that's one more thing you may not have known about me. If you did - well, I hope you enjoyed reading anyway.
Goodnight and God Bless.
I just watched Ted. Now, this isn't really going to be a review of the movie, don't go thinking that. Rather, I'm about to talk about one of my 'seven things you don't know about me'. Some of you do know this, others don't.
I have a teddy bear. At one time in my life, I probably would have given an ovary for him to come to life and be my real life best friend. When I was a baby (literally), my grandmother happened to get me a Snuggle bear. Yeah, the one from the laundry detergent. His copyright date is 1986. Same as me. I've never been to more than a sleep over without this bear. I have had him my WHOLE LIFE. Even if he's not in the same room with me, he's been in the same house as me. I can't explain it, and it's crazy for an almost 27 year old woman, married with a kid, to have such an attachment to her bear, right? But here I am, after watching this movie, and I needed to hold my bear, have him next to me, in my arms.
When I met my husband and got ready to move to Hawaii with him, I packed all my stuff to take with me to go. His dad was shipping my things two weeks ahead of me. I put Snuggle in the box, taped it up, and immediately had one of the very few panic attacks I've ever had. I freaked. What if the box got lost? The postal service (including FedEx/UPS) loses THOUSANDS of parcels every single day! What if it got damaged, and he was harmed? I've taken such care of him my whole life. He had no tears, no rips, never lost an eye or nose. I had to call my mother and get her to talk me down. How did she do that? She convinced me that since I could take a 'pillow' on the plane with me, I should simply get the bear out of the box. I argued that I couldn't do that because he was already packed and the box was taped shut. She pointed out the obvious. I could tape the box back. So, I got him out of the box, and sat on the couch with him until I calmed down.
I don't understand it, and probably never will. But of all my 'worldly' possessions, this is the one that I would be most upset to lose. It's right up there with my pictures of my great grandfather. If I actually had time to save things other than important documents in a fire - the bear and the pictures of my great grandfather would be the first things I grabbed.
So, that's one more thing you may not have known about me. If you did - well, I hope you enjoyed reading anyway.
Goodnight and God Bless.
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