Unanswered Prayer

So, I decided to start a blog at long last. This comes after much debate and realizing I didn't really have an outlet for my thoughts that I need. It also comes as I realized I needed to get back to writing. Part of what promted me to finally do this was a coversation with a long lost friend.

If this friend reads this, and knows who they are...know that you have re-inspired me as you did once upon a time. :)

I have come to realize how truly blessed I am. I have seen so many friends lately go through crappy relationships, have heart break a near constant companion, and search in vain for 'the One'. I feel so lucky to have found the person I was meant to be with. He is my best friend, my lover, and father to my child. I could not ask for a better man. Which brings me to my topic.

I have dated several people in my life. I am one who falls in love quickly, easily, and whole-heartedly. I do not believe in holding back in love. One such person who I fell for very quickly, wasn't ready for a relationship. He was still in a party boy stage, and who could have blamed him? A young Marine about to leave for deployment, it's only natural. So, I sat by the phone, and answered his calls and talked to him every minute I could. I waited breathlessly for the day he'd come home to me. I knew there was no certainty we'd be together, but I did hope for it. I wrote him letters, and checked the mail every day in hopes of one from him. When he did come home, he came to see me that night. I took it as a good sign. However, I was foolish. He and I never dated, but remained friends. He taught me a lot in those few months about love, and waiting on something that was worth it. Shortly after he came home, I met the man I now call "Husband". Thanks to that friend, I was prepared to marry a Marine, someone who would be away for long periods of time. Thanks to that friend, I was able to give my heart willingly to this man, knowing all it would mean for me.

After our talk tonight, I went to find those letters he wrote me. He wants to know what's in them. I know. I've always remembered. I read them so many many times that year. I may tell him. I may not. I probably will. They are his words after all. I just wonder if in the end, he will see it like I do. A lonely boy in another country, simply reaching for the comfort he knew he would find from me. Or, if he really felt the things he said. I'll never know. But I know that he saved me in a way that he will never truly know. For that, I thank God for Unanswered Prayers.

Good night and God Bless.